


Cupcakes and Mustard

by KenyaKetchup (temptedmelibea)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Not to be taken seriously, Swearing, Underfell, series of 100 word drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:15:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/temptedmelibea/pseuds/KenyaKetchup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You sold crappy cupcakes to monsters and didn't understand the hype. For reasons you couldn't begin to understand, you made enough money to lease a bakery.</p><p>Then the graffiti started.</p><p>(Series of 100 word drabbles. Aiming to update daily. This won't be at all serious. Very slow burn.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, I just need to get myself to write. 
> 
> So here's some Underfell Sans/Reader.

You made a living selling crappy cupcakes to Monsters even though you didn't understand the hype. The cupcakes weren't even that good.

You'd never understand Monsters.

Humans and monsters had been sort of coexisting for over half a century. Both races mostly kept to themselves: Monsters were too violent, humans too wary. You didn't get why everyone kept coming to you for those stupid cupcakes. You'd originally added those sequins as a _joke_.

Apparently they reminded Monsters of glamburgers? Whatever _those_ were.

You couldn't complain. The cupcake business was going well enough to lease a bakery.

Then the graffiti started.


	2. Chapter 2

The graffiti started one day and then never stopped.

Day 1: COCKCAKES.

Day 3: CUMS WITH FROSTING.

Day 7: TODAY'S FLAVOR DINGLEBERRIES N CREAM.

By day 17, the puns had ended: FUCK THIS PLACE.

Day 19: GRILLBY'S IS BETTER.

Day 23: YOU BETTER CLOSE THIS FUCKING BAKERY.

Your poor bakery.

Every single morning, you'd find a new graffiti. It was getting time consuming and expensive to deal with it. The cops couldn't catch anyone; your surveillance cameras kept turning off in the middle of the night. And through it all was the nagging question:

What the fuck was a Grillby's?


	3. Chapter 3

At first your friends were sympathetic, but they got tired of listening to you after about the first two weeks of hearing you obsess over the graffiti.

"Weren't you selling those sequin and glue cupcakes as a joke?"

"What if you moved the bakery to another part of town?"

"Of course you'd get graffiti; you're selling to monsters, ffs."

"I'd be more worried about selling to monsters! They're so scary."

Pretty soon you were alone in your struggle. But you were Determined; this was your business! You wouldn't give up on it.

You were going to catch this graffiti asshole.


	4. Chapter 4

The following is a list of things you tried and the results:

Installed security alarm: It started going off at random moments of the day, and never at night.

New security cameras: Lenses with spray paint.

DIY Traps: You "caught" several bottles of mustard?

You decided to spend the night at your bakery, armed with a bat and a bottle of pepper spray, more than once. No results. It was like the perpetrator always knew the best time to hit.

One day, you came in early to work to install new cameras. And you heard the sound of spray paint.


	5. Chapter 5

More specifically, the sound of spray paint and muffled laughter.

You were suddenly nervous. After a while, you'd given up on the possibility of actually confronting the asshole. You followed the sound of spray paint, heart in your throat, holding the new camera firmly in your hand in case you had to use it as a weapon, and then you saw him—

You froze on the spot.

It was a monster, _large, scary_ and  _impossibly broad_ and... The back of his head looked like a skull?  _Holy shit_. It was a _skeleton_. You did the dumbest thing in the world—


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments! Some of you are actually giving me some great ideas. Please do keep them coming; the only thing I had planned up to this point was this scene I had in my head.
> 
> As for why the updates are so short, I plan to update in 100 word drabbles once a day. It's a way to keep me writing. :3

"What the HELL do you think you're doing!?"

—and screamed at the top of your lungs instead of running.

The monster jumped. Somehow, you'd started him. And when he turned around to look at you, you confirmed it: he was, indeed, _a freaking skeleton_ , with sharp, pointy teeth and claws that could destroy you. Was that a _gold_ tooth? What the fuck. He looked absolutely menacing, easily a foot taller than you...

He looked at you with wide eye sockets and shrieked as if you were the devil itself.

"oh, shit!!!"

And then right in front of you _he disappeared_.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans' POV requested by Punny+Fan. :) No glimpse of your WTF face, but at least now we know what he'd been drawing..

( _Sssssst_. The sound of spray paint and the gigantic image of a crude red cock with frosting and sprinkles.

_This_ would teach you to sell cupcakes to monsters. You deserved this graffiti, you dumb human. Those stupid, barely edible glitter cupcakes you sold had destroyed Sans' one joy in life. Every single monster wanted your dumb cupcakes.

It was no longer profitable for Grillby to sell mustard muffins.

Sans had been too lost in his revenge-art to notice you coming. Your angry yelling had completely startled him.

Fuck. He'd run away from a tiny human.

Papyrus could never find out.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't get to a computer yesterday. Sorry!! That just means two updates today. Also, I'm very flattered and happy so many people seem to like this enough to want more. I can't commit to more than 100 words per update, but I can on occasion update more than once per day. :)

Nobody believed you. That was the worst thing.

 

You'd tell people about your encounter with a disappearing monster and they all swore you were making it up.

 

"Monsters can't disappear," the cops told you. "Are you sure that's what you saw?" said your friends. "Maybe it was a ghost!!!" said the weird stranger at the bus stop.

 

You were starting to think you'd gone insane.

 

It was time to put your metaphorical detective hat on. If nobody believed you, you'd catch the graffiti asshole yourself. The first step was to analyze the clues.

 

And the clues all pointed to Grillby's.


	9. Chapter 9

You had a strict rule in your bakery: You only served one client at a time.

 

Monsters signed up in advance. They each had five minutes. It was far more peaceful, this way— Monsters were known to be violent, even among themselves. You weren't strong enough to stop a fight. And it was far easier to act tough when you only had one intimidating customer at a time.

 

Monsters were scary as fuck. But as long as you didn't let it show you were afraid of them, they were (mostly) harmless.

 

Or so you told yourself, as you interrogated one.


	10. Chapter 10

3:55 PM was Monsterkid.

He was a gigantic thing with spiky everything: scales, teeth, claws... You name it. He was also one of your more reasonable customers, having been just a kid when the barrier broke and therefore grown more accustomed to how human society worked.

He pretended to glare at you as you rang his purchase. Rude, but you paid it no mind. "So, uh. Grillby's."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"What the fuck is it." 

"A restaurant." 

You held back his purchase and acted bolder than you felt. "Fifty percent off if you tell me where it is."


	11. Chapter 11

Grillby's was, uh... Interesting.

You walked in and immediately recognized most of the patrons as your customers. Which was weird, since the food in here actually smelled delicious.

You felt nervous around all these gigantic, intimidating monsters, but didn't let it show. Act tough, and they'd think you're tough— and leave you alone.

You'd been hoping to have a word with Grillby. Whomever that was must have something to do with the attacks on your bakery. Maybe they saw your business as a threat?

Then you saw him.

It was the freaking graffiti-making skeleton, by the counter drinking... _Mustard???_ Wtf.


	12. Chapter 12

You resisted the urge to confront the skeleton despite your _very_ _strong_ desire to slap him.

This place was full of monsters. Starting a fight with one of them was high on the list of dumb ideas. You took a deep breath, tried to calm yourself and think...

Looking around, you found a familiar enough rabbit monster and went up to her instead.

"Yo. Who is _that_?" You pointed at the sonovabitch skeleton that had been ruining your life. He seemed to be arguing with purple fire?

The rabbit monster was too startled to see you here to fight. "Sans."


End file.
